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Carolyn
Quit 4,695 days ago

Strength vs Surrender

January 11, 2019
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Excellent Carly repost! KTQ Cara D4685

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Strength Versus Surrender From CarlyKicksButts on 2/13/2011 7:38:04 AM

First of all ((((((((( the slippers, the relapsers, the strugglers ))))))))))) I want to send out hugs to you. It's hard being where you are. You want to quit SO BADLY. If you're like me, you sometimes cry yourself to sleep, desperately wanting to avoid dying from smoke related illness, scared to death it's too late, and how your loved ones could manage without you. A lot of heavy stuff, including guilt and shame.

Maybe you think you are just not strong enough to quit. I hear so many people, after quitting/relapsing quitting/relapsing, say that they are so TIRED of fighting, so tired of the quit...and that maybe they are just not STRONG enough.

I understand. I used to live in that world. I really did.

Then something struck me. It's one of life's truths that once you get it, you get it, and you can't UNKNOW it.

Quitting does NOT require strength. FIGHTING your quit requires a TON of strength and it's exhausing. Your head wants to quit, your heart wants to smoke. You go through a short time of withdrawal, from a few hours to a few days, and the whole time, all you can think of is how hard it is, how much you want to smoke, how you "can't" smoke (read: must deprive yourself) etc. Man, that takes a LOT of strength to keep fighting that inner battle, especially while experiencing withdrawal!

There's another way. It's a MUCH easier way.

Stop fighting, stop trying to be strong, and SURRENDER to your quit.

Make up your mind that your ONLY goal is riding out each craving without smoking. Period. That's it. Get your head wrapped around the fact that you truly want to quit MORE than you want to smoke, which means ALL your actions are in line with wanting to quit.

When you come in the morning, pledge. Let go of the decision making of "should I smoke" or not. Pledge that you won't, then let it go. Give yourself some rest from the struggle for a day and just let each craving wash right over you.

You know, you're going to get over each craving whether you smoke or not. If you don't smoke, you'll get over each craving from a few seconds to a few minutes. If you smoke, you'll be over that craving in about 5 minutes to 10 minutes (however long it takes to smoke) BUT, and this is important, you will be absolutely ensuring the next crave will be SOON.

When you let the craving pass without smoking, the cravings get farther and farther apart. REALLY. TRULY. It's A-M-A-Z-I-N-G.

But don't take my word for it! Try it!!! For tomorrow, just don't smoke...make a commitment that for ONE DAY, you will let each craving pass and you will let the cravings pass....maybe lick on cinnamon sticks, deep breathe, pinch yourself, go for a run on your treadmill, sip water, crunch ice, whatever you can to distract your mind.

When the thoughts come, don't think "Oh I wish I could smoke" because THAT is the fight that's draining you!!! Think "What can I do to ease this craving or to help it pass?"

Get your mind OFF smoking! If you spend a 5 minute craving thinking about smoking the whole time, holy cow. That's HARD. But if you get a craving and think, let me go for a little walk, or phone a friend, or go read the newspaper online, or.....whatever...and distract your mind, you are making it EASIER.

You are surrendering to the QUIT instead of fighting it.

There will still be the detox process which is, by itself, tiring to some degree for a SHORT time. But nowhere near as exhausting as doing internal battle all day long. Now THAT is hard.

:-)

I learned this at around day 2 and life got supremely easier. I also realized that NOT smoking was easier than smoking. To NOT smoke, I didn't have to DO anything, just sit here like a slug. that's it. Just sit here and I was not smoking. To SMOKE, I'd have to get up, get out, go buy 'em, get a lighter, figure out where to smoke, smoke it, get rid of the evidence and smoke smell, beat myself up a few times, throw them out, hate myself, hate myself so much I'd have to smoke to feel better, go buy more, you know the drill.

Nope, to NOT smoke all I had to do was just sit, veg out, stare blankly at my computer monitor and let success wash over me.

All without having to move a muscle.

:-)

Carly


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  • tman55
    Quit 1,734 days ago
    1 week ago #

    Great post. I really think pledging helps me take my mind off smoking for the whole day. I promise all the people here I won't smoke...so I don't. And not smoking truly is easier than smoking in every aspect.

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