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BriBri
Quit 71 days ago

The 500th attempt

February 9, 2019
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I’ve had “my last cigarette” honestly like 500 times. I live near a convenience store, I work with smokers and am around smokers often - so i end up bumming one.

In the last 4 years the longest I’ve gone without a smoke is 48 hours. I’ve tried to quit so many times. It sucks. I love it and hate it. I wish I never had learned how much I liked it. I wish I could go back to that first ever puff of a smoke that was so harsh and gross...and never do it again.

I’m gonna see about a support group. I’m in my 30s. Smoke about half a pack a day for years now - sometimes less, sometimes more.

Gonna try (another) quit now. I have a new quit like twice a day, but maybe talking on this forum might help.

Sigh.


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  • tman55
    Quit 1,826 days ago
    2 months ago #

    Well Bribri, you gotta do the hard yards yourself but we are damn good cheerleaders here. We’ll have your back. I quit with Champix almost five years ago but I post here most everyday just to keep my quit strong. When you admit you’re an addict the process is easier. Get ready for a scrap from your inner junkie. Hes hard to knock down in the early rounds but just keep swinging and soon you’ll see him in a heap on the mat. Keep swinging and post here. We can help.

  • BobbieB
    Quit 428 days ago
    2 months ago #

    BriBri i was exactly like that also. Getting the phone calls from alberta quits helped, allan carrs book “the only way to quit smoking permanently” reeaay helped too

  • m
    m.m.
    Quit 1,696 days ago
    2 months ago #

    Wow! If you can get this done now in your thirties I congratulate you!!!!!! I had a quit at the age of twenty-five and I let it go over a doughnut and a coffee. It took me over thirty years to get my next quit. This is doable. 100%. First thing is to commit to reading the post here no matter what. Smoking, not smoking read and learn. At the very least if you keep smoking you will be doing it with your eyes wide open. If you can pledge great. If you slip or choose to go back, it happens. At least it will be your decision. Welcome.

  • Carolyn
    Quit 4,787 days ago
    2 months ago #

    m.m. is sooooo right - get this done now before you have issues that come from smoking. Reading, reading, reading helps. I succeeded with this quit when I decided smoking was no longer an option for me and that there was never an excuse to smoke. I have kept my quit day by day, sometimes minute by minute in the early days and when struggling, I read my library of posts (things I post here) until the crave passed. I actually carried printed posts with me to help me through should I be out and a crave hits. Quitting is doable -bunch of us elders are here to prove it can be done.

  • B
    BriBri
    Quit 71 days ago
    2 months ago #

    Well...off to work today. EVERYBODY Where I work smokes lol (it’s a rare place smoking wise in the city)

    Since 430 yesterday all I’ve had is about 3 puffs of a butt In my ashtray.

    Big test is work today. Oh god I want to just buy a pack and go nuts lol.

    I have Barb Tarbox picture as my home and lock screen on my phone. I think it’s helping so far to keep in mind really why I want to quit so so bad. Watching the video on this Alberta quits website - which begins with her talking about her diagnosis and breaking into tears about how smoking isn’t worth it - hit me really powerfully. I can only imagine how upset I’d be at myself if i died because of these death sticks I smoke.

    It sucks they are unhealthy cause wow do I love them lol. But they are bad so...

    Alright here I go to work maybe I’ll update during the shift

    • tman55
      Quit 1,826 days ago
      2 months ago #

      NOPE. Not One Puff Ever. Dig in and resist. It will get easier!!

    • BobbieB
      Quit 428 days ago
      2 months ago #

      Yes! Her videos helped me too. I loved her message of you NEED to quit now. Its true..

  • B
    BriBri
    Quit 71 days ago
    2 months ago #

    2.5 hours into shift. I’ve had about 0.75 of a smoke. It happens so fast.

    Usually I’m on 3 or 4 right now so it’s an improvement but still not satisfied

  • m
    m.m.
    Quit 1,696 days ago
    2 months ago #

    It is progress. BriBri. There is ways to go about this. Much of this is the same for every human on earth who ever has, does or will smoke. Much of it is unique to you as an individual. Undoing all the physical, mental and emotional attachments is the challenge. How you move toward that will depend on what works for you. You have already mentioned that you feel conflicted. That was something that I struggled with for years. I REALLY wanted to quit but I REALLY wanted to smoke. I tried so many times that I did not want to say anything to anyone because I looked the fool. It was a STRUGGLE. Now that struggle is gone. It is doable. No longer living with that conflict is truly one of the biggest benefits. But it is going to take some doing. There is no struggle now for me. I can not remember when my last crave was. In the pre-quit time I imagined that I would be struggling with craving for ever but it doesn't work like that. In fact you are in the worst of it right now. Knowing that smoking is not working for you but feeling powerless and unable to resist the sensation. That is stressful. I patched it for the last ten years of my work because smoking was such a pain. It is worth it to meet the challenge. You and anyone you love will be healthier and wealthier if you make this change. We have your back.

    • B
      BriBri
      Quit 71 days ago
      2 months ago #

      Thanks for this wonderful response. It’s right on the money.

      That feeling of powerlessness, and the fear that “even if I quit I’ll always be addicted and craving them” have weighed on me heavy.

      This shift I’ve had about 1.25 smokes. Again, usually I’m up around 5 or 6 by this point at work. In total it’s about 1.5 in the last 26 hours, which is a good start and about 10% of my usual day.

      So I’m happy so far and I appreciate the posts so far here. It’s really been stressful trying to quit daily for 3 years and failing every time...hurts your confidence and that battle between “want and don’t want” has been awful and really defines so much of my time.

      I hope so bad to make it past this place!

      Thanks again.

      • Brian3
        2 months ago #

        BriBri welcome to the community. Not sure where you work but that is indeed a tough situation. What are you doing now that is helping you stay cut down? Sounds like you are making progress. Have you tried Nicotine Replacement Therapy NRT? (gum, lozenge). These are great for when you are having an urge/craving to smoke. Talk to your pharmacist about them. As you have seen lots of great support here.

        As with any addiction, one day at a time. Brian (AlbertaQuits)

      • ChamomileT&Sympathy
        Quit 3,090 days ago
        2 months ago #

        The fear of thinking you will always and forever crave for cigarettes is daunting but it is a bit of a misnomer. I can only tell you my experience. I was a for about 35 years and very heavy smoker the last 15 years. I think part of the reason I quit was I was in perpetual craving and it really sucked (pun intended) I would light one cigarette with the butt of the last. I could only imagine if I used Nicorettes or "the patch" I would only add that to my nico-habit, I could see me wearing patches all over my body, chewing nicorettes and smoking two packs a day. I still craved, I could smoke more and more and still forever crave. I also was afraid the cravings would never end if I quit. This was like a curse, a curse all the worst as I brought it on myself ( like all curses I suppose ) I never really tried to quit smoking. Well I did but I never made it more than about 8 -10 hours so I don't feel that really counted as an attempted quit, I thought I have to last more than 8 hours of sleeping to be considered an official quit attempt! November 6 2010 I quit cold turkey just out of the blue. I didn't overthink it I just did it. The first Two days were hell, but heck I went made it two days! I knew if I made it that far I didn't want to go back, well I did but I didn't want to go through those two days again! I knew I did it two days I can do it again and it should be a little easier so I knew for sure I could do two more days. I knew after four days I was not going to go back, but I did have my doubts there are always doubts at first. It was the one month mark that I knew I would NEVER smoke again. I knew enough about addiction to know I can't even take one puff ever again or I would be back smoking full boar in no time and feel even less likely to attempt a quit again. For me it was now or never and literally do or die. I have no doubt that I would not be here today if I did not quit. So I am very pleased that I am here to meet you!!! As I said I was in constant craving mode for years, after I quit the cravings almost immediately were less, harder for a while but less often within days. withing weeks less often and less severe, with in months quite rare to get a craving and quite mild but occasionally get a doozy if something triggered me, like at a bus stop where I always lit up and I'd be sure to smell cigarette smoke there. After about 6 months I could not breath in a car with a smoker in it! I found that odd as I loved the smell of smoke before and felt I couldn't breath if I didn't have a smoke. I didn't crave anymore after that much at all as I hated it. For sure after the first year there was no desire to smoke and I knew even if tragedy struck that nothing would make me light up again, as there is nothing so bad that smoking won't make worse. For me the more I smoked the more I craved. Once I quit the cravings quickly vanished and they are somewhere in oblivion now. Quitting smoking was the best thing I ever did. I hope you quit Bri, a quit is at your fingertips I know it! I hope EVERYONE quits!!! See: https://youtu.be/HUngLgGRJpo Good Luck BriBri :))

  • ChamomileT&Sympathy
    Quit 3,090 days ago
    2 months ago #

    If you could get out of your environment where you are surrounded my smokers for a couple of weeks would help a lot! The holiday will pay for itself in no time once you quit and forever more you will have thousands more dollars to go on many more holidays or whatever you choose to spend your new found wealth on. For me I got a deal on a nice winter coat for $80.00 that was when I learned a lesson on value, I thought wow I have a nice coat will keep me warm for prob. at least a couple of years yet $80.00 would buy me less than a weeks worth of smokes that could only cause death & destruction in so many ways. Then I thought I could buy about 4-5 coats a month!!! So, now I own 3000 coats! ;)

  • B
    BriBri
    Quit 71 days ago
    2 months ago #

    Thank you guys very much for telling your stories of inspiration, and giving me some pointers.

    Here’s how I’ve done so far.

    It was Friday night when I first started this quit attempt. Saturday at work was tough. Between 430 Friday and bed Saturday I’d had about 2.5 smokes...way down for me. Sunday I had a worse day...about 5. Still low for me, but not good either.

    I work two jobs, so I was away from the smoking one today. I went to the store and bought a big package of 4 mg nicotine gum and immediately threw 3 pieces in cause I was cravin so bad.

    The gym was a little harsh at first, and I’ve had about 10 pieces today, but I have had ZERO SMOKES as of 630 pm tonight (now).

    I’m actually pretty amazed by the nicotine gum. I know what my cravings feel like when I cave for a smoke...and just straight up I have not had a craving after I started the gym. I’ve just been chewing on a piece all day and it really does seem to be working. I even got offered a smoke by a friend and turned it down.

    I’m really really encouraged by how the gum is making me feel. I’ve gone 24 hours before without a smoke (maybe 5 times in 4 years) and I know how bad those days have been in terms of cravings - absolutely dominated the day and I felt miserable.

    Today was the best non smoking day I’ve had in years ans years. Really happy with the gum and I hope It will keep like this and instead of “having a smoke” I can just pop a gum in as a substitute.

    So far so good. But really the big test is if I can keep this going past day 2. I’ve made it 48 hours once in the last 4 years and it would be a huge deal if I could make it more than that. Start a streak!

    Really am excited about the gum and how I don’t feel absolutely miserable and constantly craving

    Thanks again for your posts

    • BobbieB
      Quit 428 days ago
      2 months ago #

      You got the streak goin already BriBri! You made it one day you can make it another, and repeat. It feels much better not smoking, i bet youre feelin it already!

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